Category Archives: Me Me Me

New Year, New Plan

Last year one of my goals was to post at least once a week.

I failed miserably.

The fact is that I am a busy girl and I have higher expectations for myself than the posts I have the time to create right now.

I love photography and that is what I want this blog to be; a place for me to share my life through my lens.  So for now, I am going to focus on my other blog Shrinking Kat.  I haven’t posted there in way longer than here.  When I started it, I was on a weight loss track.  Then I stepped off the track and forgot about it for a while.

I am not happy with my body image right now.  I feel like I’m fighting a losing battle every time I open my mouth for the next bite.  I find it exhausting just trying to figure out what my next meal is going to be.  And knowing that it’s not just about the food, I berate myself every time I sit down to watch a movie or find myself surfing the internet just because I’m bored.  It’s not healthy, but I just feel so defeated by those numbers on the scale and the tightness of my jeans.

I have tried many diets and failed miserably every single time.  I know denying myself is a recipe for disaster, so I decided (more than a dozen times) to make “lifestyle changes”.  I fared a little better with those, but still fell off the wagon again and again.  So I thought about it.  I thought about why it is that I find it so hard to change my eating and activity levels.  I think I may have discovered the answer.  My head and heart aren’t working together.

Usually my head is the one who decides that it’s time for a change.  In my head, I usually feel like my body is the size I desire.  But then I look into a mirror and my heart falls.  I feel like I’m deluding myself.  My pants must be on fire, I lie to myself so often.  I tell myself that it’s not as bad as it seems.  It’s the mirror; it must be a fun house mirror or something.  I tell myself that everyone else is lying to me too.  They tell me I look fine, or worse, great.  Why do I feel it necessary to twist words?  It’s not healthy.

So here’s what I’m thinking:  I am a future psychologist.  I am most interested in why we feel the way we do and how it affects our behavior.  You see, if I can understand that, then I can help people change their behavior and in turn be happier.  I’m thinking that if I change the way I think about food and exercise, then I may actually succeed in making permanent changes in my life.  I can create a better body for myself but creating a healthier mind.

I’m going to embrace the double meaning that I considered when I named the other blog Shrinking Kat.  I’m going to shrink my head (using psychology) in order to shrink my body.  Wish me luck.  I’ll try to visit more often (but no promises).

Hugs and stuff,
Kat

New Year, New Resolutions

Last year, these were my resolutions:

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I did fairly well.
I wore every item of clothing or got rid of the ones that I really didn’t like anymore.
I wore about 90% of my accessories at least once.
All in all, I call it a success.

My posture was going great until I got hit by a monster headache a few months ago.
My chiropractor and I are working on fixing both the headache and the posture.

I definitely had a year-long focus on my manners including a focus on my family’s manners too.

I started off the year doing fabulous finishing projects.
The last three months found me struggling to complete anything beyond home chores.
I still consider that one successful because I completed way more than 3 personal projects.

*****

This year’s resolutions are:

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First things first, unpacking.
We moved into a house last month.
While I have already made good progress with unpacking, it’s going to move a lot slower once school starts again tomorrow.
I think March gives me a reasonable amount of time to work with after factoring in homework time for myself and the girls.

Defining my style is something I’ve been slowly working on for some time now.
I want to define my clothing style so that I can stop buying things that might be me. I would much rather look for me items to start with.
I would like to define my photography style so that I can then work on perfecting it.
My blog style is still in transition and I am ready to figure out a solid style for the blog.
I would also like to define my parenting style so that I can readily identify my strengths and weaknesses.  It will help both me and my daughters.

I feel that I’ve neglected the blog this year.
I only posted 30-something times. So sad.
This year I am committing to at least one post per week.
More is awesome but I have to be realistic with my homework schedule.

My camera had way too much down-time in 2013.
This year I want to do 3 “formal” sessions.
That’s only one more than last year, so it’s totally do-able.

Everyone in my home gained some weight last year.
We eat fairly healthy most of the time.  The key is exercise.
We all need to get moving.  I think it would be way more fun for us all if we do it together.

Finally, I am going to quit smoking. Again.
Besides the obvious reasons (health and money) I have a few personal reasons.
I have a solid plan that I have already started putting into action.

I think these are all attainable.
There a couple items (*puff puff*) that are more important for me to achieve.

I’m making myself reminders on my calendar to check in on my resolutions every three months.
Hopefully, this will help me be more accountable.

Wish me luck.  I wish you luck on any of yours as well.

Hugs and stuff,
Kat

Update

I posted here once in the last 6 months.
That’s kind of sad.
Well, it makes me sad.
The problem is that I haven’t felt inspired.

I am going to school full-time at Portland State University.
It was a really hard adjustment from community college this Spring.
I love it but it sure takes a lot of focus.

My teen went back to pushing buttons.
She’s making positive progress now, but she took more energy than I had.
I love my girl.

And then there was the wedding.
It was a whirlwind affair.
We decided to get married as soon as we got engaged. 
Impatient people that we are, we picked a date that allowed me only three weeks to plan my first (and only) wedding.
CRAZY!

Now, that things have settled a bit across the board,
I feel ready to embrace the inspiration that I see everyday.

Things may slow down around here again at the end of next month, but I don’t think that I’ll completely disappear again.
I love my blog and sharing my pictures, thoughts, recipes, etc…

So, more soon.

Hugs and stuff,
Kat